It would have been Nan`s Birthday today so have made this card with her favourite flowers
A bit about my special Nan
This part is personal for me and I feel as I have this blog it would be a great way of letting my feelings out
Today`s card is in memory of my dear Nan we lost last August as it would have been her 95th Birthday today - with it is the last ever taken photo I have of Nan which was only a couple of months before she died
Nan & Grandad loved Fuchsia’s , Grandad grow them for himself and sold them too , so they are a special flower for me
Over this last month I have had so many emotions running thought my head as I miss her so much and with the loss of her last Sister earlier in the month it made everything more intense – but I have come to this day feeling not sad but just very proud of Nan – ( and my Grandad too )
At 94 we couldn`t complain at the amount of time we had with her and it was only in the last few months in hospital that she didn`t know much at all – she was admitted to hospital to have the start of treatment for Breast Cancer yet developed different complications so never started the treatment – and it wasn`t what she died of – so we are grateful that she didn`t have to suffer with all of that treatment and the hospital made her comfortable whilst she slipped away over the next month
Following my spells of Sciatica – I was due to visit with what would have been my 3rd visit to see her in hospital but that day I couldn`t walk and till the following week I had my op so I couldn`t visit Nan – whilst in hospital Nan caught the MRSA bug so I wasn`t allowed to see her for 10 days following my op – on the day I had my clampy bits out I was given the all clear to visit – she died that afternoon before I could see her
That has allows played on my mind that I didn`t get one final good bye but at this stage she wasn`t the Nan I knew to look at so now I have come to the frame of mind that it was meant to be as I have these special memories of her
She never complained and was just a ray of sunshine in our lives and I was just pleased that she had time to get to know Erin for nearly 3 years – Nan we are thinking of you today and always in our daily lives
I have this photo on my craft shelf so I feel she is always with me – Crafting saw me through the toughest time of my life – funny how it takes your mind away from problems if only for short times but it helps so much
Sorry this posting today is so personal but it feels good to write it all down
Suzanne
Posted by She Wray on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
What a beautiful card and a lovely way to remember such a special lady.
Posted by Sheila (aka Ginger) on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Hi Suzanne, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts with us today…I’m sure your Nan is watching over you and would have loved the beautiful card you have made…it’s stunning.
Take care and hope today goes ok for you.
love Sheila xx
Posted by Denise on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
What a beautiful card Suzanne and a lovely tribute to your nan (and grandad). Pleased to hear you feel better for having put your feelings into words on your blog. I remember from your posts on JS forum at the time how upset you were that you were too ill to visit your nan but I think it was meant to be and now you can remember her like she was in that beautiful photo!
Posted by Tina on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
That is a beautiful rememberance card and such a heartfelt message with it. We know how much you loved your nan and I believe she is watching over you now.
Posted by Anne(06) on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Hi Suzanne what a Beautiful post today to a very Beautiful Lady…..
Your card as ever is stunning !!!
Thinking of you today
Love Anne xxxxxxxxx
Posted by May on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
What a beauitful card , thinking of how precious your Nan was to you Love May
Posted by Kate Macleod on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
The Anniversary of such a loss is always difficult Suzanne especially the first anniversary. It does help to record your feelings so I am pleased that you feel able to share them on your blog. You have such special memories of a very special lady – just hold on to them. Making such a lovely card in memory of your Nan must make you feel so close to her today
Kate x
Posted by Janet on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
What a beautiful card and lovely memories. I’m absolutely sure that your nan knew you were with her in spirit and wished her all the love you had for her. That you weren’t there physically at the end, will hurt you but she would have been aware of you, even though you couldn’t hold her hand.
I’ve known patients whisper a goodbye to loved ones as if they were in the room, even when they couldn’t be, so they must have felt them near. Don’t feel guilty. Your nan would have wanted you to be safe from infection far more than wanting you with her in the flesh!! Enjoy your memories, hugs janet
Posted by Chrissie on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
I was so moved by your post today Suzanne. I think your card is just beautiful and I’m sure your nan would love it, she looks such a lovely lady and it’s good that you can share your feelings about her today. I’m so pleased that you can remember her with happiness instead of sadness now. Thinking of you and sending hugs and good wishes.
Posted by Suzanne on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Thanks everyone for your kind words – they mean so much – I wasn`t going to write such a personal piece but felt it was the write thing to do – for myself – i`m so pleased I did now
Suzanne
Posted by Sue - Suzi Q on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Your card is beautiful Suzanne, am sure your nan is looking down on you with pride. I know you were very close to her, and your tribute to her is lovely.
I have made 2 birthday cards now for my mum in the 2 years since her death, I place them with a bunch of flowers next to a photo of her. It helps me get through the day, hope your card has helped you in the same way. Thanks for sharing your tribute with us.
Sue
Posted by Diane on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
What a lovely card Suzanne, i was very touched to read your story, your Nan would have been so proud of you.
Happy Birthday Nan
love
Diane x
Posted by Catwithoneear on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Your’e a lovely lady Suzanne and what a special way to remember your Nan. I am sure she is smiling down on you.
Chris xx
Posted by Cazmc on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Thats a beautiful card. I am sure that he would have loved it. My nan died in June on her 95th birthday and never got to see the card that I made for her. I only saw her once hilst she was in hospital as with two small ones it was difficult but I can remember her as she was not what she was like when she died. I hope that is a little comfort to you.
Posted by Suzanne on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
Thanks to you all for your kind words – i`m so lucky to know such kind friends
Cazmc – thanks your words are of comfort , I know it`s right to remember her as I knew her , and i`m so proud of my Mum & Dad who were with her twice daily till the end , however though it got – I know they find it though as they have those memories , but I do thank them for not letting me go through that
Suzanne
Posted by lavenderbreeze on July 25, 2008 at 8:02
It’s a beautiful card, Suzanne, and with the very best of sentiments attached. There can be no better tribute than what you have written, or than the high regard in which you hold your Nan’s memory.
Jo
XX
Posted by Suzanne on July 26, 2008 at 8:02
Thanks Jo
xx
Posted by Andy on July 26, 2008 at 8:02
Thats a really nice card Suzanne, and a lovely way to remember your nan.
Posted by Ann Whitfield on July 26, 2008 at 8:02
Suzanne, this card is wonderful and a lovely tribute to your Nan. I’ve done this myself for both my Mum and the Mother-in-law I never met and found it to be wonderfully healing. Reading your post I think it will be the same for you – thank you for being so brave and sharing your feelings.
Ann x
Posted by Suzanne on July 26, 2008 at 8:02
Thanks Andy and Ann
Ann i`m pleased you to have done this for yourself too – as it does help
and i`m so pleased I did share my feelings as I wasn`t going too
Take care
Suzanne